Sunday, March 1

Opportunistic Prospective Buyer Seeks to Hire Realtor

Seeking to hire a Realtor for what could possibly be a Three-Year Assignment. Fickle, sarcastic, brash prospective buyer seeks to interview Realtors for a trying, challenging job assignment. You will earn your 3% on this deal and you will celebrate with your family and friends when this one is off your desk. If you have ever participated in sales training and the speakers suggest you should fire the clients that "spin your wheels" and "waste your time", I am who they are describing.

I have no sense of urgency. Actually, the only urgency I have is the window before my wife and I could lose our jobs and this prequalification letter can turn null and void. My lack of urgency could come into direct opposition of your need for a commission. I encourage you to not spend the 3% before the settlement happens and the check clears in your bank.

I am seeking to make offers on properties at least 25% below their 2009 assessed values. I don't plan on making more than 10 offers on properties; however you may show me hundreds.

Motivation: At the heart of every buying decision there are underlying motivations unrelated often to real estate that drive the decision. Or objectives are to acquire a property that my wife and I can have children in, enjoy the school districts, and stay for 10 years after purchase. Secondarily, we would like to be close to Reston and Rockville, MD, as that is where we work. We will only live in Virginia so access to 270, 495, Route 7 is a must. Third, we would like to have an heirloom from this recession if we survive.

Price Range:
Who's kidding who? There is no floor; however we acknowledge most likely that single family detached homes in these areas below tend not to be below 200,000; however, feel free to educate us if you find something cheaper. Our max is $400,000. Ideally the property would have been assessed for $500,000-$800,000 in 2009. We plan to offer between $250,000 and $375,000.

Property Must Haves:
Two Levels. Ideally most of the bedrooms would be upstairs.
We generally like colonials.
At least .3 Acres.
Bedrooms: 4+
Square Footage: 2000+
Bathrooms: 2.5+
Location: We like Fairfax County for the school districts. Vienna, Great Falls, McLean, Arlington, Alexandria, Falls Church, Reston, Belle Haven, Oakton, Tysons Corner, Lake Barcroft.

Nice to Haves:
A garage, a new kitchen, a large fenced-in backyard, access to a running trail, built after 1985. Proximity to a dog park. A garage. A built-in bar. A flat screen TV that conveys. A pool.

Can't Haves:

A rambler or townhouse. Anything with a chain-link fence. Anything with mold. Any property where suicide occurred, cults were formed, or meth labs were operated. A hot tub.

Any structural problems like a falling-in roof, a basement that floods, a loose supporting wall.
Locations: Springfield, Annandale, Chantilly, Centreville, Merrifield, Fort Belvoir, Fort Hunt.

Challenges:
  • My Greed
  • My wife's fear

The ideal realtor would be one that either has low self-esteem or has dealt with idiots like me before. If you can wrangle in my wife and I and see what motivates us and prompt us to make a decision sooner than later, than you are the right guy or girl for the job.

Principals/Owners Only!

If you have lost your job, recently gotten divorced, had a nervous breakdown, or been jailed please contact me directly.

For Realtors please send your emails with attachment to jbrennan@1031esgroup.com. Thank you for your time and patience.

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